Imagine.

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Sad thing is, sometimes we only get reminded of our blessings, when we see the less fortunate people, or something unfortunate happen to us. What would happen if it was a world where everyone is happy…? Would we all be thankless if we have no sorrows…? Have you noticed, we have the most sincere prayers, when we need something from God to be done.? If life is good, prayers sometimes become mere rituals or maybe even nil. How material are we? How narrow are our minds? How selfish are our deeds? We are nothing but losers then… Pray and hope, that we all be better humans; That we can rediscover and nurture, the humanity, spirituality and capability for goodness within. Amen.

P. S :- This small prayer is inspired by an all time favorite song Imagine, written and performed by John Lennon in 1971. The song is about imagining a world without countries and religions, with ever happy people. I was just wondering what would happen next, if Lennon’s wish came true.

  • Please click on the image to enlarge and read the lyrics.

Four.

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I tried holding me tighter
Closely to the shines of summer

Though coldly a storm with rain
Brushed me away to the clouds of fall

I wait in hope without vain
Cherishing the flakes of snow

And the memories of fresh young vow
For a delightful spring of all.

——————
———–

Seasons change. Orders change. People change;

Hinting me patiently to learn and love each transition thankfully.
They are those that make us resolute better aspirations
And make our years worthy for many wakeful dreams coming true.

——————
———–

Once again,
With prayers, wishes and wills;
A crisp new page is blessed along.

The beautiful beginning for a breath of life
is now only moments of heartbeats away.

——————
———–
—–

P.S:- Four represents four seasons and also every fourth year called leap year (like 2012).

Intricacy.

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Withered within oneself
Muddled within chaos
All that lay siege seem lost
None to see nor to hear

Loathe the soul within
Embrace not the happiness
All that lay among love seem forgotten
All to point out and none to heave

Take off your claws, oh solitude
Leave me alone, oh loneliness
Let me breath, let me thrive
Let me own myself back.

Was triumph the endeavour
Was defeat a vindication
For the shadow of battlefield
Haunts deep within evermore.

P.S. Fellow blogger, Moideen Museem coaxed me to write, coz I hadn’t written anything in my blog for almost a year. I still didn’t write, but when my friend gave me the first two stanzas and asked me to fill in the rest, I did, for the sake of fun 🙂 Thank you so much, friend; It did trigger me to write after a long time. 🙂

iLeader.

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He is there in every ‘i’ of us. i hope. i believe. i exist…

Early 2009, When i decided to start a blog to upload my write-ups, i thought of many names for it. What i wanted was something that could represent the inner crude core of my scribbles with a slightly materialistic touch. i preferred the word mind to heart and brain, ’cause somehow i felt, oddly as may sound, mind connected both…

And as much as i love to use a computer and a keyboard to scribble down things, instead of the usual pen and paper, so do i love to hear the click-click sounds of my laptop, whenever i type. So finally after narrowing down many words, i came up with Keys of Mind; As in, keys are not just the ones, which open and read the different states of my mind, but as well which made its inner unheard voices and unsaid words appear on the screen in front of me, brighter and more vivid to myself; And sometimes to others also maybe.

Day before yesterday, October 5th 2011, when i woke up in the morning, hearing one of the saddest news… i couldn’t believe it. Well truth is, i didn’t want to believe it. The legend who created the rainbow arc to fill the mindful hiatus between technology and creativity and connected the dots between design and function… he who touched and inspired the factual and digital world, in every level and aspect beyond iconic… is not the living legend anymore… He thought different, made it happen unbelievably better and carved the niche of excellence which only he would transcend subsequently and almost ethereal through time and innovation, i must say.

i would like to think of him always as a great father for anyone and everyone, because he left such a huge priceless legacy of life personally, spiritually and professionally, to all of us. It would have been great, if i could thank him personally with all the love and honor for sculpting the very fascinating and beautiful screen; and mind i say, the sexiest set of keys ever cut by man, just the way he intended, through which i enjoy coding down my little humble creations. i shall forever remember him for the charismatic air and the powerful aura he depicted in his visionary works, for the amazing inspirations he has left on every walks of life, for us, the mere mortals. i wish and pray from the deepest core of my profoundly respectful heart, may the insanely great genius who dedicated his life to make our real and virtual lives easier, better and pretty cool than ever, rest in eternal peace.

One more thing…

Leaders like him, are not born, but evolved; Very do they not cease living, but survive time immemorial through their followers…

Special Acknowledgement: High regard to my very dear nephew Hatim, who was very amenable and enthusiastic in contributing good commendable intelligence and information that has helped me in drafting this humble write-up.

P.S. I hope his followers will notice that his most favorite expressions have been used in this small tribute; one more thing, amazing, unbelievable, innovation, pretty cool, huge, mere mortals, insanely great, connecting the dots and wouldn’t it be great. And words like rainbow, touch, power and air are used to represent a few of his state-of-the-art technological product creations. And lastly, i have never mentioned his name, as i believe ‘i’am enough for that. 🙂

sshhh.

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It is going to be one year since I published any new write-up at Keys Of Mind. I choose the word ‘publish’ specifically, because I still scribble down but they are only viewable to me, so it kinda doesn’t count fully. Anyway. I think I stumbled into some block,a past which I can’t write to my own satisfaction for the time being. Even though at certain times, I did wish I could scream at the top of my lungs, I was (maybe still am) at a stage where I wanted to experiment the silence for a bit so that I could cherish and keep the unsaid words, all to myself. I wasn’t locking the keys, but just leaving everything free on their own including myself. So this small talk, made me scribble this small one;

Silence is there
In my mother’s womb;

Silence is there
in a Pharaoh’s tomb;

Silence is there
when I drink tea;

Silence is there
between you and me.

Water.

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Had she ever known then,
She’ll have waves up her hips
Not holding his hands,
But only her own?

The tides of mourning
And the floods of pain,
Had nearly drowned her till
She pushed self to go on.

Had all subsided slowly
Emptying to loneliness;
A lifetime have ended;
Forthwith new life upfront.

Now its all dried up
Like a barren desert;
No mirage to quench;
But a few tears to wet.

Though if looked inside,
There will be his relics;
In her core imprinted
Till his lifeline got broke.

Did she know then,
Some slit knits can’t be sewn?
Though they once brought forth
That he was en masse her own.

Does she know now,
His seity was their oneness?
That neared to perfection,
Each rise, until the end.

 

This is a Double-Entendre presentation. On the surface level, the reader shall find this as a relationship between a woman and a man she loves. But the double entendre in is that, with another perception, its between a mother and her child who died during birth. Clues are given to bring the reader to this angle by not using any words that directly and exclusively imply the better half bond but by using double meaning words.

Waves up her hips – Can be sea waves. Can also be the blood, placenta etc a woman expels during delivery.

Holding his hands – Can be the lover’s hands. Can also be holding the baby and his hands after he is born.

Tides of mourning and pain – Can be the emotional pain. Can also be the physical pain during giving birth.

Pushed herself – Help herself out emotionally. Also, pushing the baby out.

Core – Heart, Mind, Womb.

Emptying to loneliness – Her life is lonely. her womb is lonely without baby.

Barren desert – Her empty mind. Her empty womb. Can also be her empty hands without the baby. Barren also means fertile. Barren dessert means, fertile but not seeded.

Mirage – She can’t have the mirage of a sooner pregnancy and quench her longing for motherhood (because it takes at least a few months for a woman to get pregnant again after a delivery).

Few tears to wet – Can be her post-natal menstruation which has to finish before a mirage could happen again.

His relics imprinted – A womb is changed forever in shape and physicality once its held a fetus. There will be evidence that the womb has carried.

Lifeline – Umbilical cord.

Slit knits – Her heart is broken and it can never be mended back to new as she lost her love of her life. That’s the lover or partner’s angle. The other angle is the slit made for the ease of delivery can be sewn by a doctor, but the wound she got by losing the baby can’t be healed that easily.

Bring forth – Means to cause to occur. Also means, to deliver.

En masse – All together. In a mass.

Seity – Identity. The baby has no identity but only that he was her fetus. As he is dead born, he has no other identity other than as her dead baby.

Neared to perfection – A healthy pregnancy and delivery is one of the perfect creation processes in the world. As the baby died during birth, its not healthy, ie not perfect but only neared to perfection.

Each rise – Each time spent, Each month of pregnancy.

The reason for not writing this without two levels is I can never write enough and effectively about the emotions and loss of a mother. I’m deprived of words for that expression. So through the narration of the pain and different emotional stages of a partner, the reader can try multiple it and try understand what will the pain of a mother will be.

The title ‘Water’ thus implies, the different forms of water/fluid and its significance in life physically and emotionally.

Race.

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I wish;
I could free my mind from all the locks that I have sealed myself in.

I wish;
My quest for the unknown is answered atleast for once.

I wish;
My being is demystified with a horizon of sublime accord ahead……

I do recognize these will remain as visionaries.

But at least I’m content that I know this fact.

Not through other but by myself.

Perhaps that’s the manuscript I could ever find about me, all so legible.

Maybe I exist beyond my reach.

Maybe I am so hidden little inside myself.

Maybe I, me, self, all shall conflict.

And that race of struggle might be the identity I chased behind………

Freee..ak.

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Homeland gave me independence

Home gave me opportunities

Life gave me possibilities

But did I give myself freedom

Now on this Day of Independence

I come to realize

Freedom is something that is lost in self

Something to be found from self

Hey Me

Let me walk in the rain

Let me just fly and float in the moment

Let me not only think; but respond too

Let me be closer to You.

Packet Achar.

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I am walking on my way to our paternal uncle’s house. And its a hard work because walking through sands on two inch heels is something only a dope like me, will do. Its as simple as that. I can’t remember correctly when I started being half-witted so much, that I stopped enjoying the warm feel of the beautiful, dry, golden sands of Vadanapally between my toes. All I see now is the sand I evoked up by crumpling it helplessly between my feet and shoes. And beyond my partly closed lids that are trying to shade my eyes, just like my mind which refuges my heart from memorizing certain melancholies of life; I’m striving to remember the last time I ran on those sunlit grounds barefoot…

There was a time, when life itself was a celebration of freedom; A freedom from myself; A freedom before I had set myself up with certain politeness and the so-called ‘wannabe-lady’ behaviors which were ruthlessly against having strolls over the soil with naked soles; Freedom to walk around and run along hand-in-hand with my beloved cousins and laugh at each others’ soil-tagged hands and legs at the end of the day.

But, then again, who cares about those self-presentations even now, perhaps despite me; when nothing is more exquisite at Vadanapally than the affectionate hugs from loved ones and their constant insistence of dining on the fresh mouth-watering fish curry and rice. Those are something that can’t get enough of, any time, any day. Shame to admit it is, that one thing that I seldom enjoy though among my native foods is pickle. Its a pity for my palate without any excuse that I can’t handle those beautiful color-rich delicacy. All I get along with its hotness, are tearful eyes and runny nose.

While I was cherishing the stainless love of my families served with taste of homemade food, my in-built tendency slowly drifted me apart from the surroundings; the slots of my childhood are starting to play again. I could recollect through those rewinds that I have had enjoyed those spicy preserves many a times. When me and Sameeha would sit and chat for hours under the trees behind our homes, overlooking the big fields; Sameer would buy us little packets of mango achar from the small shops. ‘Packet Achar’ as we used to call it. And we would relish it all to our hearts, even if it used to take us, squeeze those packets together just so that we could fight laughingly with each other, for the last remaining drops. Well, those Achars were worth having a few tears and a lot of smiles, fun and laughter, together; From its extra hotness in our mouths, from the warmth in our hearts, it surely had blessed us along with the greatest gift of life called friendship…

I wish I knew how could I ever pay back the love and happiness they gave me. The sands of my homeland summed up everything we had. And when one day, those sands didn’t grip the four wheels enough on time, we lost Sameer to Vadanapally soils forever..

Without turning over the pages of life’s crystal clear pictures with sadness, but facing them with all my love, I now smile over the fact that I still have a few tears left to share with Sameeha, for Sameer… And facing them with all gratefulness too; that I still have Vadanapally as pristine as She ever is; Always ready to welcome me back whenever I wish to be home with my ever so dearest ones.

Dearest Sameeha,

I hope you remember all those wonderful times and I deeply wish from my heart that I could be there for you more… I owe you both, the most beautiful times of my life with all its unprecedented innocence and a lifetime of friendship vows, more than to anyone else. Love you with all my remaining childhood legacy that somewhere you have left inside me; and I happily would love to say that its all always yours, as it has always been.

P.S. – We lost our Sameer to a fatal accident on December 2008… He now lives in our hearts. Till we do.

Selfdom.

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I live in past;
Reminiscing over my beautiful memories.

I live in dreams;
Thinking they are fairer than realities.

I live in future;
Imagining of a better closure.

When will I live the present;
And just be present in it.

When will I shake myself off;
For better, for worse.

The smile I created
To hold back the tears…

The jokes I made
To try ease up my sanity…

The laugh I faked
To hide me from my selfdom…

But Who am I kidding?
Me or remaining?

End of the day,
Did I get to see myself?

Or did I acquaint with my faint shadow
And just watched it fading away farther…

Wasn’t that me who put dust in my eyes?
To bewitch my realm of existence;

Wasn’t that me who blew spells over my ears?
Hoping a voodoo trance of clock and anti-clock;

Maybe I was destined to create this;
A stranger inside me, drifting ever so maddened;
By the mind trapeze, magnetized…
Beyond ever, the fact of time…